Another thought for
meditation: when you go on this path, you must also prepare yourself to
abide by another of the spiritual laws, which says that there is a price to be
paid for everything. Whoever tries to avoid this will finally pay a much
heavier price. Every single person is doing this constantly in one way or
another; some do it more obviously, others more subtly and secretively. Many
people are not doing it outwardly, but psychologically you are all doing it,
particularly when you approach this path with only half-open eyes. Realize that
there is a price, but the price is well worth it! When you buy a house
and you want a beautiful mansion, you are reconciled to paying an adequate
price. You will not expect a mansion or a palace for the price of a shack. On
the material level, you have no quarrel with this truth, but on the emotional,
psychological, and spiritual levels you wish for a palace for the price of a
hut—and sometimes you do not want to pay any price at all.
That is part of your sick soul. The
price you pay by going on this path of development is certainly a high one, but
there is absolutely no other means on earth or in heaven to gain harmony, love,
happiness, and complete inner security where nothing evil can ever touch you or
throw you off balance. The price is: no self-pity, no self-delusion,
utter severance with the little ego, time, effort, patience, perseverance, and
courage. What you will receive for this price is indeed a hundred times worth
it, but do not expect to see the reward right after you start. By start I mean
a period of at least two years of work in this manner, provided you do not work
half-heartedly. In other words, and speaking symbolically, your money must
first be paid in full.
I know, my friends, that my words
are not what a self-indulgent person likes to hear. There is no easy method and
no magic formula by which you can obtain the happiness you all seek. I cannot
promise you the precious gifts of heaven on earth and in the spiritual world if
you merely do certain prayer exercises. If I were to tell you such things, you
would be well justified in being suspicious and doubtful, even though you might
undoubtedly prefer to hear this. What I am offering you is real and true. Each
one of you has the chance to find out for yourself by trying and by following
my advice.
My advice to begin with is:
Meditate upon the words I have given you here. Consider what the price must be,
and what you must expect. Then make your decision. Are you willing to take this
path?
Oh, you may say, “It may take a few more lives. I am too tired.”
I can only answer that this again is very shortsighted; if you are tired or
weak, it is because your inner forces exhaust themselves in the wrong channels
so that your strength cannot organically renew itself as it does in a soul that
functions well. If you would only start and not be dismayed by the first
struggles, you would finally succeed in setting the inner current right. By
doing so, you would set free in yourself a wonderful life force and a spark
that will change your life completely.
I cannot promise you that all your
problems will cease, for they are a necessary part of your path to begin with,
a challenge you can learn from if you meet them maturely. However, I can
promise you that after you have fulfilled certain fundamental conditions, you
will not be depressed any more by your life and your difficulties. I can
promise you that your tiredness will cease, and that you will have the strength
to go through your difficulties and to bear your cross in the right way,
knowing why and what it is all about.
The most difficult thing for you
and the most weakening aspect of your life is that you cannot see the reason
for anything that happens to you. Only on a path into yourself will you find
out the reason, and this alone will give you the strength you need. Furthermore,
I can promise you that after a certain time on the path you will enjoy life in
spite of your difficulties even before they have actually begun to cease. You
will come to relish life in a way you have never been able to do before. I can
promise that you will be vibrantly alive—first at intervals, and later more
consistently. To the extent you understand yourself and begin to put order into
your soul, this vibrant life force will fill you. Life will be beautiful to you
in all its reality. So I say to you truly, do not postpone this work for
another life. It will not be easier for you then, and you can never get away
with not doing the work, for it has to be done. No matter how late you think it
is, it is never too late. Whatever you accomplish on this earth will have an
eternal value. And when I speak of accomplishment, I do mean the conquering of
your lower self.
Here is another thought, my
friends, for this initial decision which you must approach with open
eyes: distinguish the three necessary types of work involved in purifying
yourself on this path. One is your outer behavior, the recognition of your
apparent faults and qualities, as well as every occurrence that is on the
surface. The next phase—and these phases often overlap—is tackling that layer
of yourself that does not belong directly to your subconscious, but which you
are unaware of because you are deliberately escaping it. This layer has to be
treated in a different manner which I will show you. The third and equally
important layer is your subconscious mind. Do not believe that what is in the
subconscious is so far away that it has no effect on you. You are constantly
dominated by your subconscious without knowing it. It is very possible to find
out, slowly but surely, what is in your subconscious, at least to some extent.
Distinguish the trends in you which
stand in direct relationship to your conscious will and are thus directly
controlled through an act of will. You will also discover trends in you which
are connected with your emotions and cannot be directly forced to respond to
your wishes. The world of emotion can only change by organic growth, not by
pressure and voluntary action, except in an indirect way.
Let us assume you
find out that deep down you are lacking faith or love. You cannot force
yourself to have faith or love, no matter how hard you try directly. But what
you can make yourself do is to walk this path, to follow these steps, to
overcome perhaps a lack of discipline that makes it so hard for you to work
diligently on your path, or tackle whatever else stands in your way quite
directly, for instance to work daily on your quota of self-observation and
meditation in a detached way. By doing so, you will not work directly on your
lack of love or faith, for instance, but you will simply get to know yourself
and find out why you lack these attributes. When you gradually understand this
without forcing yourself directly to have love or faith, eventually the life
force will fill you and will automatically generate these feelings without any
direct endeavor on your part. If your emotions begin to change after a few
years, you can consider it a wonderful success. The change will happen so
naturally that you may not even be fully aware of it at first.
Study these words now; think about
them deeply. Take them to God and ask Him, if you have doubts. He will answer
you provided your heart is really open. Believe me, my friends, all this is
neither as difficult as it may seem to you now, nor is the path a miracle that
will procure happiness for you without demanding from you all you have in
honesty, willpower, and effort.
I want to say something else to you
about this phase of preparation and decision: expect to have a fight with
yourself. It will be the fight between the lower self and the higher self, and
your conscious self will determine which side will win. It cannot win without
such a fight. It must be a long fight which at first will manifest itself
perhaps by preventing you from following this path at all. The lower self may send
messages such as, “I do not believe in it,” or, “It may not be necessary
after all,” or “I am too tired,” or “I have no time.” It is necessary for
you to recognize these messages for what they are, and understand where they
come from. Use them as a starting point to delve deeper into your soul. Try to
see clearly what is really speaking within you when you receive these hidden
excuses and pretenses. If you expect this struggle beforehand, you will be able
to look and listen and will have a first victory. Also, you will have learned
already to some degree the process of uncovering your masks and wrong motives,
which will stand you in good stead later on when the lower self will try to
obstruct your path by other means. It will simply try to hold on to individual
soul-currents. By then you will already know how to deal with it a little
better. Do not just put the superficial excuses aside. Test them, deal with
them, examine them.
Many of you are scared of what may
come out of your lower self, though you may not be conscious of that fear. It
is important to learn to interpret and translate such perhaps vague feelings
into concise thoughts. This fear is an important reason why a person shies away
from meeting the self.
However, in psychoanalysis the mistaken idea that they are really their lower self can lead people to such self-rejection and self-disgust that they break down. All of you here know that the lower self is merely a temporary layer and does not constitute your entire personality. It is here now to be dealt with, but is not the real you—at least not entirely.
Excerpt Courtesy of The Pathwork Lecture Number 25
pathwork.org
pathwork.org
~Sovrnty Society
